My heartbreaking story...

This morning I woke up around 8:30am and decided, why the hell not get up? There was no real point of sleeping in that I could find at the time, so I got up and went to the bathroom as usual. On my way back to my room, I noticed my white board had been "decorated" for me during the night. I suppose there must have been a drunken party that I slept through last night, although the halls were not as messy as they normally are the morning after. Nyways, by the word "decorate" I mean somebody had written truly mean and hateful comments in thick black marker all over it. Some of the comments were just cruel, and my board was literally covered with them. This really upset me but I didn't want to take it to seriously. So what if my door had been the only one targeted, I was better than the situation... I knew I would get over it. I decided just to leave it there and figure out what to do with it later. It was still too early to get some homework done or go to the library, so I started to watch "The Breakfast Club" while eating breakfast. Around 10:00am I noticed a small noise outside my room, as if somebody was poking at my door. I thought angerly that the person who committed the crime had come back to do more damage... however, it was actually a girl from my floor. I couldn't see what she was doing... so I quietly went back to finish my movie and waited the situation out. Finally I got up the courage to open my door and check it out... it was blank! The girl had probably seen it when she got up to go to the bathroom and decided it was not cool for me to have to see it, and so why not try to wipe it off before I wake up. If I had only slept in, I would never have known that someone defaced my board and that someone so kind had tried to hide it from me. I wanted to go up to her and thank her, or let her know that I thought so highly of her, but I can't say anything because then she will know that I knew and her little effort/good dead will have been for nothing.

As I sit here contemplating my morning, I remember all the times I had sent hate messages to people - some by letter, and others by email. I now truly know what it feels like. The feeling in the pit of your stomach is hard to get rid of. I mostly just wish I knew who did it. I can't think of a person on my floor who would actually hate me that much, seeing as how I try to stay invisible here. I say warmly hello and good morning to everyone I see, and I try to help them with their problems if I can, but I like flying under the raidar of my C.A. and prefer everyone just knowning the quiet little me who only ever asks for help with homework. I never cause trouble, like I kinda was known for doing in high school (french situation with Anne for exemple...). Here I'm just the innocent + shy little girl. Only one person on my floor - the girl who cleaned my board for me this morning - ever put effort into helping me get involved with the floor. Sure people talk to me all the time and are really friendly, but she actually invited me to a bunch of activities and came shopping with me... she was the only person who cared. She clearly has done her good deed today... now it's time for me to do mine.