Dear BMD, wherever you are....

During a quick chat with miss tacky, I admitted to her something that I had never really noticed about myself... these things always come out during girl talks (!!) Anyways, I told her I have been dreaming about him for a while now. It is sooo true... I have been thinking about him a lot lately... wondering where he is, and when (if ever), I will see him again... i know it's just the typical badboy crush that every girl goes through, but no matter how many years go by, even if I forget him name... the moment I see him, I WILL remember all. I miss the way he talked... I miss listening to him... even when he didn't know I was (which was most of the time... lol.) That sounds so lame now that I actually write it out... and be thankful I realize that myself... but he always made my day. I have see him in the highs and lows of his life... and neither bothered me... (in this case 'high' takes on two meanings, incase you didn't notice). No matter what he did wrong, I always defended him... (verbally or just in my head) and I tried to get people to see the side I saw of him (can be difficult, I know). I smell your smell every where I go... you nasty smoker! but I turn the corner, and you aren't there.... I don't even know where you are! We were NEVER close, but I still knew where you are most of the time... I knew so much that you never knew I knew (not in the creepy stalker way, just things you pick up). I hope you see you at one of our school reunions, please don't think you are too cool to come. I just want to hear you speak... you are so funny, did you know that? Your confidence amused me too... I wonder what you look like right now... do you still have that goofy hair style I claim is your own, and will never look at another guy with that style, without thinking about you.... although it was just too cool that I have never seen any other guy try it out... lol. You were special... and you knew it, but you never really used it. My gosh you were smart! and talented! People don't expect that when they look at you... they just see a wasted life... but I see what maybe you don't even see yourself. Anyways, I really should stop thinking about you... cuz you never even looked my way... infact i would be soooo shoked if you knew said something to me next time I see you. Cuz you did know me... you knew me pretty damn well actually. I still think about that one MAJOR conversation we had when I told you straight out that I liked you... I must say that you took it well. I didn't know what would happen afterwards... I guess you think I stopped liking you... well, here is some news... I ALWAYS LIKED YOU! and you will NEVER like me! That's fate buddy!