Another University First

Trust me, you don't want a picture of me right now. My eyes are all puffy and red... tear stains on my cheeks. I don't understand what happened. I studied like crazy for this midterm. Spent all day Sunday, a few hours Monday, had a very productive 5 hour study meeting on Tuesday, and studied last night after my classes, and even this morning before the midterm. I knew I was prepared. I was ready to meet that midterm and do well. How could I not with all that studying behind me? After all, it's sometimes more than I usually do.

Well, let me tell you this. I got to the midterm, everything seemed fine. It was 5 questions. First two went okay, third was a struggle, fourth I think I did pretty well... but that fifth one... worth 40% of the test.... I sat there and had no idea what to write. I looked at those words as if I had ever seen them before in my life. This was for one of my classes in french (but french was not the subject of the class), and so I asked to teacher if she could explain them to me, since she knew french wasn't my first language. She wouldn't. So what could I do but make up some stupid answer. Which was wrong. But here is the kicker - I actually knew the answers. If I had only known what was being asked of me, I would have done pretty well. Oddly, I have taken tons of tests in french, and never had this problem before. It's not my lack of french knowledge that was even the problem!

I have never cried over grades or a test before - that I can remember at least. I have been upset, and sworn often... but I don't cry over stupid things like grades. Well, today, as soon as I was forced to hand the test back in, my eyes started to well up. It didn't make sense that even though I knew everything, that I could not have gotten 40% of the test! Later when I looked it up in the book I found out if I had known what the question was asking, I would have been able to at least get some marks. It's so not fair. This means the max I could even hope for is a 50% on the test.

BTW - I just want self pity right now. I don't want to hear any lame words of encouragement or hearing that the same thing happened to you. Nor do I want any stupid suggestions! That's why I don't want to have any comments on this particular blog (don't worry, normally i love comments, so they will be back up next blog). I don't need to know that you have read this and think I am pathetic.