Upset about a good day?

As good as a day good be (by day i mean heavly stressful high school day), today was not bad. I had two presentations and an exam to do, but they all went okay (pretty sure i passed at least!). After this, i did my normal activities, even met a new friend "Amber". Had an awesome day at work - i like students who are pretty hot and enjoy learning at the same time (<-- best part about tutoring!). so... en somme, today wasn't bad... so, why do i feel so sad? I can't explain the feeling, but i only feel like sad songs today, and i don't want to do anything i normally love to do. Don't understand myself today, explained emotions... I swear i am not a moody person, but i was happy up until an hour ago. What does this mean? Have i perhaps been thinking to much about the end of school? Is this the cause of sadness and other strong emotions? Back in elementary school, i was the only girl who never cried on the last day, when we knew we were never comming back. I had emotions, but i cannot show them - i don't even try to hold them back, they just don't show! I don't even force them. I seem like a bubbly blonde - am i so afraid of my image that i can't cry? Why don't i cry a lot? I mean, i cry when i am hurt (physically) but i can only remember a few moments where i truely cried. There was this one time i cried for attention, or at least it started out that way, just b/c i was sad about one thing, but then half way through, the acting stopped and i was being real. That's another fact about crying, it's hard to stop and it usually turns real if it's intentions were not.

Ick. That is a lot of free style writting. All truth though. I jump ideas a lot and write what i think, however it does help me discovers my thoughts. Reading what i think, and thinking what i think are quite different due to the fact that it always seems to be more real when i read it.

Maintenant, je vais commencer d'écrire dans une autre idioma. Sí, hablo tres idiomas pero mi español es horrible. Donc je vais continuer ou je suis confortable. Il y exciste une sorte de rasurance en savant qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup de personnes qui vont comprendre tous de ce que j'écrit. Peut-être un jour je vous écrirai une poème à propos de ma souffrance. Ma pauvre coeur - il ne fonctionne pas. Il n'a jamais fonctionner car j'ai jamais senti l'amour. J'ai trops peur. Je n'aime personne. Amour de famille est différent car il faut les aimer, je ne peut pas décider ceci, mais l'amour pour quelqu'un d'autre n'existe pas pour moi. Serai-je toujours comme ceci? No sé pero es probable. Soy une habladora que quiere dormir - donc il faut que j'aille. Salut! Hasta la proxima.

Until the next time, it's shannyn signing out - Póg mo thoin!